I've been thinking a lot lately about two things that both have to do with being married.
1. I recently turned 21. Now, I know that turning 21 doesn't appear to have anything to do with being married. But it does, and I'll tell you why. If you were to ask me to picture a married couple, I would picture something like this:
How old does that couple look to you? Probably close to 30, right? (I can say that because I don't actually know who this couple is, so I won't offend them.)
My point is this: I knew at 19 that I would be married soon. I was engaged and then married by the time I was 20. But ask me how old I feel?
Not 21. As I look at pictures of myself, I still look like I'm a teenager. I don't see a grown, adult woman. I see myself still as a senior in high school. And as I look at most of the other army wives around me, I don't see a lot that are my age. Most of them are older than me.
Don't get me wrong. I ADORE Caleb and I married him because it felt more right than butter side up. (Dr. Seuss, anyone?) But sometimes I get this complex. A complex that tells me it's weird that I'm so young and already married. Not that I feel that way personally, but more like I can feel that other couples (older couples) look at us and think that. Like they look at us and think that we're a couple teenagers who just got married because we thought it was a good idea at the time. But, that's not how it is.
I just wanted to get that out there.
With that being said, this next statement is sort of ironic.
2. I didn't think I wanted a baby until he got out of the army. Well, I still don't. But I keep getting this feeling like when he comes back we should start trying for one. Not immediately, but after he's had time to readjust and they move us to the other base in Germany because this one is closing down (yeah, I thought I was going to Italy after this base shut down, so the fact that I'm just going to another base in Germany is a real kick to the stomach.), then maybe after we get settled in, we could start working on it.
When I talked to Caleb about it, he didn't seem quite as excited. I don't know if he really understood how much time I was talking about waiting (and judging by his list of things we'd have to "do with a baby in tow", I don't think he understands how long it takes to make a baby either. haha). After a short discussion, we decided it would be beneficial to wait until he got home and settled in to make a decision.
Anyway, that's pretty much it for now. I know it's a lot, but this is my blog and I'll write a novel if I want to.
Have a lovely day. ♥
